Let’s get the awkward part out of the way: I’m a personal injury attorney, which usually means people ask me one of two things: (a) when am I getting billboards, or (b) they start contemplating an exit strategy. I get it. Lawyers have a reputation, and personal injury lawyers have a reputation’s reputation. Several folks have, unironically, called me an “ambulance chaser,” and if you know me, you’ll understand my aversion to cardio — if you don’t know me yet, you’ll soon find out I’d rather walk than run.
But I want to be the exception. I hope to show, through this newsletter, that there are a lot of quality attorneys who “chase ambulances” for a living — some of the brightest legal minds and kindest people you’ll meet, myself included.
In August of 2024, exactly one week before my son was born, I founded Schmittgens Injury Law Firm. If you’re thinking about starting a business of any kind, I’d advise against doing it a week before you and your spouse welcome a new child into the world.
I’m a born-and-raised St. Louisan, and naturally, my office is downtown on Washington Avenue. I started this Substack (today) because I think I can bring a lot of quality information to an otherwise confusing industry.
Candidly, I think most personal injury commercials are terrible. Some are corny by design, others bury you in unnecessary and terrifying legal jargon you probably don’t understand, and some have a guy with gray hair telling you about “MAXIMUM COMPENSATION” over stock footage of a car crash.
As a father, I have my fair share of awful jokes. As a lawyer, I find myself using cumbersome language. As a business owner (who only gets paid when you do), I also want to get my clients the most money I can. But attorney marketing leaves a lot to be desired.
There’s a real gap between “I got hurt and I have questions” and “I understand what’s actually going to happen to me legally,” and I’d like to live in that gap for a while, if you’ll indulge me.
So here’s what you can expect from my Substack:
Plain-English breakdowns of what actually happens after a car accident, a slip and fall, or any of the other ways life likes to humble us — no Latin phrases unless I’m making fun of them.
Real talk about insurance companies and the surprisingly creative ways they try to pay you less than you deserve.
Myths, debunked — no, you don’t automatically get a million dollars for spilling hot coffee, and yes, that case was actually more reasonable than the jokes suggest.
The law, explained in words you actually understand. The law is, almost by design, intimidating. I hope to break it down in general terms you can follow — and I might even give my two cents (three, if you’re lucky) on high-profile cases.
The occasional war story from the trenches of St. Louis-area courtrooms, names changed to protect the aggrieved.
Zero pressure, zero sales pitches — I promise not to turn every post into a thinly veiled ad for my firm (this one doesn’t count, I’m allowed one).
I’ve spent my career explaining complicated, stressful legal situations to people on what is often one of the worst weeks of their lives. Turns out I have a lot of opinions about how that should be done — and apparently now I have a newsletter to put them in.
If you’ve ever been hurt, known someone who’s been hurt, or just enjoy watching a lawyer try to be funny on the internet, you’re in the right place. Subscribe, and I’ll see you in your inbox.
(And if you’re dealing with an actual injury right now and need actual help, not just my musings: hurtinstl.com.)
Cheers,
